Dear Paul,

You're the first person I've slept with since Ian. And the only other guy I've kissed since Ian was Tim...and that's not something I'd ever want to do again. You're a really, really nice guy...as far as I can tell. And I'm comparing you with Ian which is so weird to me because I've never compared guys before...probably because I've never had a really good guy to compare anyone else to. Ian would have talked to me more, and wanted me to spend the night. I didn't get that from you....but I shouldn't have. I don't know what I'm looking for and I think it's just that I want to date you...or at least continuously hook up with you, and hang out with you.................like it was with Ian. You're very cute and I really enjoyed the other night. You're actually the first guy since my ex-Sami to shower with me. Weird. It's also always nice to be fed in the morning. =) I liked the art even you were doing today. It's really awesome that you do that, and care so much. I'd like to paint with you sometime....maybe you can teach me art and I can teach you accordion. But I feel like I'm getting ahead of myself. I mean...that was a hickey on your neck, right?

From,

Me

Dear Tim,

Right now I'm actually waiting for you to get off work so that we can hopefully hang out. And I'm probably making a really bad decison. For some reason, I really just want to give you the benefit of the doubt...and maybe even another chance, if you wanted it. Really, though, I still am not really convinced that you were telling me the truth at Sean's party...it just doesn't seem logical....why would I get upset with you for wanting to move? Don't you think I'd rather hear that then get ditched for three weeks straight? You told me you liked me, and that you wanted to take things slow...and that meant a lot to me. It's something I've never heard anyone say to me before and it's what made me feel like I could trust you so easily. Simply put, I was comfortable with you. I'm hoping that our friendship will work out...and I'm hoping that now that we're just friends, you won't randomly bail on me because now you have no excuse...or not the one you were using before. When we started hanging out I thought you were so nice, and actually a genuine guy...and, for some reason, I still do think that. Even though most of my friends just want to write you off as an asshole, I'm just not convinced. I really believe that you're just a dumbass...which, of course, doesn't sound so great but...it's better than being an asshole. I do think you have a good heart, and just figure you're dumb when it comes to handling certain situations. I don't know why I still want to hang out with you...but I do. And I hope you actually call me tonight.